Rumination

My mother’s sister, my Aunt Gloria, has returned to her home in New Jersey. I know that my mother will miss her companionship and support.

I spent much of my contact with my aunt scrutinizing her. I was looking for signs of what to expect. Somewhat out of curiosity but more in hopes of emotionally preparing myself for what is to come. Her diagnosis for stage 4 small cell lung cancer came more than ten months before my dad’s. She underwent several rounds of chemo—how natural it is to use the shorthand now—as well as radical surgery to remove a diseased lobe of her lung.

Alas, I was unsatisified. Gloria has faired much better than my dad. Her cancer hadn’t metasticized before treatment began. So she’s up and around. She even traveled to Europe with my parents late last summer. If there are signs of the trauma she experienced, I cannot detect them.

Footnote: I used ‘alas’ above with frustration for the employment of it admittedly created a semantic conundrum. Then again, maybe I’m just a bit angered by the inequity... not that I wish worse for Gloria but solely better for my dad.