Saturday, March 10, 2007


He has been unconscious for most of the past 48 hours. There were a few moments of wakefulness in the middle of the night. His attendants were on duty and, per her request, woke up my sister who was sleeping downstairs. She had a brief and precious exchange with him, and hopefully more closure than I had expected. There have also been a couple of periods when he has opened his eyes. He could not speak but through subtle indications it was apparent that he can hear and appreciate what is being said. I know he is glad Jennifer was able to come to Berkeley.

He wants to go. That is absolutely clear from separate discussions he had with my mom and me on Wednesday and Thursday. He told us he is unable to read, bored and, when we are not around, very lonely. Given that he will die soon, anyway, he suggested he would utilize any available physical means to hasten it. Alas he has none. So he lies in twilight.

I have read that people in such twilight are often cognizant of what is going on around them. They may be able to understand what is being said. So, both for his sake and mine, I am spending much of my time talking to him, recounting many of the adventures we have shared and how grateful I am for those experiences.

With reference to my Summary Assessment post, what I meant to communicate was my incredible shock at my dad’s rapid decline, especially in light of his unexpected improvement just a few weeks back.

My mother is surprised he survived last night. She doesn’t believe he will survive this day.

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